when i find stretch marks on my thighs i make a point of smooching them because they’re just doing their best at keeping the all-powerful immortal Being within me from ripping my mortal shell asunder in a blaze of heavenly glory and eviscerating the cosmos in my divine wrath
You know what? You just changed an aspect of myself I’ve hated since ballet class in sixth grade. Thank you!
it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”
#don’t ever fake an orgasm let them know they disappointed you
In the interests of honesty, there are sometimes good reasons for faking. Either you’re bored/tired/want to get it over with and the other person seems to think it’s an Olympic event and you know if that person gets the reaction they want you can go home and watch TV or read, or your partner has done everything you like, but you are just not hitting on all cylinders that day. Sometimes faking it is just the end to an event that has stretched out well past fun.
This is my experience. Your results may vary.
The fact that the ALA shared this link is so gloriously bitter and angry and I love it.
Is there a portmanteau for that? Angritter? Bangry?
Amazon is searching for all kinds of ways to get little chunks of change out of readers, isn’t it?
Maybe the greatest gif i have ever come across!
HAHAHA! Hardest working fans in the business.
the universe did not converge in the series of improbable events that ended in your existence on this flying rock in the middle of space so that you could discredit the identity of teenage bisexual girls
This statement would be perfect if it didn’t discredit the identity of every other being on this flying rock.
this just in: i can in fact encourage people to support bi teenage girls, who experience some of the lowest levels of social support from their friends and family and some of the highest prevalence rates of mood and anxiety disorders and suicidality without discrediting everyone else’s identity, similar to how i can say ‘save the whales’ and not mean ‘and let everything else die.’
nubbsgalore: photos by gerry ellis from the david sheldrick wildlife trust, a nursery and orphanage for elephants in kenya’s tsavo east national park. here, fifty five keepers are charged with being around the clock parents to an elephant. the elephants, however, are the ones who chose their caretakers; it is the keepers who must ingratiate themselves to the elephants and earn their trust.
when elephants first arrive at the orphanage they are often traumatized from having witnessed the slaughter of their mothers and family by poachers. grieving can last several months, and they often lose the will to live. but as dame daphne sheldrick, founder of the orphanage, explains, a caretaker is charged with “persuading an elephant to live when it wants to die.”
approximately 35,000 elephants are killed by humans every year. with an estimated 350,000 elephants left in the whole continent of africa, they will be gone in the wild within ten years.
cbc’s the nature of things did a program on the elephants and their caretakers. you can foster an elephant with the david sheldrick wildlife trust online here. for more on the emotional lives of elephants, as well as the david sheldrick wildlife trust and other human efforts to save them, check out these posts
Facebook, I appreciate you telling me where to find single men in my area, but the blood sacrifice does not need to be renewed until April.
Wait—you’re skipping Samhain? And Yule? You’re not doing a wicker man this year?!!!!!?
One nation, under Canada, above Mexico.
with liberty and justice for some
You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people.
Teens always look terrified as customers.
I am always terrified as a customer.